How Do Babies Change Your Life?

So, I was browsing the other day and came across this article, "Top 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had Kids"

...That said, it would still be nice if someone let you in on a few secrets of the mommy underground ahead of time. Here are the top 10 things I wish I knew before I had kids of my own:

1.       Using the bathroom by your self is a privilege, not a right.
2.       You will spend more time fishing things out of the toilet than you will care to admit.
3.       Babies have a unique taste palate that causes them to think your homemade organic sweet potato and apple medley is disgusting, while they will happily devour lint balls, dead flies, lost buttons and other unmentionables that they find on your floor.
4.       You will wish you hadn’t spent so much time being critical of your pre-baby body when your boobs were still located in the northern hemisphere and you didn’t wet yourself every time you laughed or sneezed.
5.       That is really is possible to exist on 2.5 hours of sleep per night. (Note: I didn’t say function, I said exist.)
6.       No matter how great of a mom you are, you will spent at least half of your waking hours feeling exceedingly guilty about something.
7.       The amount of time you spend preparing an activity for your children will be inversely proportional to the amount of time they will enjoy doing it. (i.e. Skip the elaborate Martha Stewart inspired craft projects, throw a bunch of used toilet paper rolls and some glitter paint on the floor and let the natives go wild. It’s a win-win for everyone.)
8.       A shocking number of diced vegetables can fit inside a toddler’s nose.
9.       Random strangers will think they know your baby better than you do and offer expert advice on everything from naps and diapering techniques to appropriate bathing schedules and how long you should keep your baby’s toenails.
10.   When you’re having an off day, a single peanut butter smeared kiss from your little monster can put the whole planet back into rotation.

It got me wondering. Why do so many of the articles written for new mothers focus on the negative things? Is it because we need the warning? Is it because the good moments are taken for granted? 

So I wondered if any mothers reading this felt up to the challenge of telling me the 10 POSITIVE Things (or even just one!) that they wish they had known before having a child, especially anyone who had their first child in their 30s. Please let me know in the comments below!

The Name Game

One of the things I have read over and over about pregnancy and parenthood is that it can be really difficult for the father to really connect with the whole concept.

I have been making a huge effort over the last week or so to have little informal 'baby' conversations. usually they are prompted by something hubbys is watching (he loves his documentaries) so it is easy for me to say, "What would you do/think/say if one of our children did that?" and it gets us started.

We have talked about presents, Christmas traditions, bedtime routines, manners, religion... all sorts of things and I have a few posts planned about some of these.

Over the weekend, we started talking about names. We have quite a few criteria that we agree on, which is a good start! We both want something relatively traditional, but not necessarily common. We want 'normal' spelling! And, apparently, all we can think of are boys names...

I really like hubby's middle name, which also happens to be his dad's name. I'd love to use this name for our child, but don't want to upset my family if they feel we are favouring hubby's side. It's a name I have always liked, so not sure if I should hold on to it given the situation. I even posted about this topic on the Essential Baby forum, here.

Out of the blue, hubby also mentioned he liked the name Aaron, which I do quite like, but I can see my brother laughing about forever, as he maintains to this day that I had a secret crush on a school friend of his with this name.

Hubby had a very close relationship with his grandfather, being almost raised with him as the main male influence, and has a super old fashioned name. I like it for the meaning it has to him and hadn't thought of it in any other way till I did a google search for the name and this appeared!

Not sure I can face the thought of putting my child through the torment of being called "Ducky" or anything like that! Disappointing though, as "Don" is also part of the special code hubby and I developed to talk about ourselves after we got engaged. Maybe as a middle name it's not so bad?

The other trouble I have when it comes to names is being a teacher. There are so many students I have taught in the past that I have destroyed my ability to ever think of anyone but then when I hear certain names.

And girls' names? Well, I have no idea where to start!

A Nervy Wait...

If all of this goes according to plan, this wont be the last time I am nervously waiting for test results! I suppose I should get used to it.

Had my pre-pregnancy blood/urine tests yesterday. I was surprised by how much blood they had to take for all the tests. I had no idea there was a urine test to go with it so I had to drop that back later in the day. So now I have to wait 3-4 days for the results. Hubby wants to go with me and so that means waiting till next Friday.

I'm suddenly really worried about all the things that they might find with these tests, I even had a moment of panic last night thinking they would tell me I had cancer. This then widened to a fear that I would find out about something, anything, that would mean I can have children at all.

I mentioned to hubby that I was a bit worried about all this and he said, "I don't think you have given this enough thought. If you are worrying now, what are you going to be like when there is an actual baby to worry about?"

So yes, this could very well be the beginning of a lifetime of worry! Am doing school work to keep myself occupied, and the heat (it's 36 here at 11am in the morning, heading for 43) is certainly giving me something else to think about!

What do you do to keep your mind occupied while waiting for test results, or to stop you worrying in general?

The Next Step

Our pre-conception appointment on Friday went pretty well. I was a little worried at first at how hubby was going to be, an appointment like this makes everything seem a little more 'real' but he was fine and jumped right in with the questions.

Before anything else, here is what my doctor had to say in response to our prepared questions:

How long after removal of my implant is it possible to fall pregnant? Same day! So we need to consider this carefully.

What effect will the painkillers I have been taking have on a baby? Not good, so I need to stay off them and stick with the TENS machine. If this doesn't work, we'll need to re-consider what treatment I am receiving. 

Do I need to consider alternative pain management while trying to conceive or when pregnant? As above.

How long should we ‘try’ before scheduling another appointment? Didn't really get into this, at this stage she sees no reason to worry about this.

What prenatal vitamins does she recommend? When should I begin taking them? I'll be seeing her again next week after my blood test results come back and we'll talk about this then.

What can hubby do to help? (e.g. vitamins of his own, etc) Stop smoking and stress less, best advice she could give at the moment =]

Am I at risk for any problems? Do I need to take any specific precautions? I was told the the two biggest risks to me are gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, which may or may not go away after the pregnancy. For the baby, the said the risks are not so high at this point that I should be concerned.

How can I safely continue weightloss? (diet, exercise, etc) Stick with what I am doing now and we will re-assess if/when we are successful. This was reassuring, she also mentioned that there are some women who actually lose weight during pregnancy (not counting on that!) and that it was important not to 'eat for two.'

Are all my immunisations up to date? If not, what do I need and when? Will this mean we have to wait before trying to conceive? I am having a full blood test on Monday to answer these questions and then we will go from there.

Are there any health problems or conditions I should take care of before trying to conceive? Again, blood tests should indicate any concerns here.

What effect could my back injury have on trying to conceive or during pregnancy? Possible, but at this stage not likely to cause any issues.

Given my back injury, what impact might being pregnant have on my ability to continue working? Possible, but at this stage not likely to cause any issues.

What can hubby and I do to increase the chances of getting pregnant? Didn't get to this, but will be asking when tests are back.

Overall, the appointment was really positive. I felt at the time that she didn't take my worries about the effects of my age seriously, but she was trying to point out to me that with medical care as it is these days, there is no reason that things shouldn't go well for us.

It was really good to be able to voice some of our deepest fears (problems for me, for baby, not being able to conceive, etc) and to have them answered in a sensible, logical way.

The plan now is this. I have a full blood test Monday, results by end of the week. At that appointment, we discuss anything that has shown up in the results. If all is good, I start taking my vitamins and book in to have my implant removed and we get on with it. If not, we address each thing as it needs to be.

Needless to say, hubby and I have had a LOT of interesting conversations over the last few days. Stay tuned for more!

Reading to Baby

I am a huge fan of reading to children, being a teacher and all! I believe that it is never too early to start reading to your child.

I found an old facebook post that read:

WHY READ 30 MINUTES A DAY WITH YOUR CHILD?

*If daily reading begins when they are born, by the time the child is five years old, he or she has been fed roughly 900 hours of brain food!

*Reduce that experience to just 30 minutes a week, and the child's hungry mind lose 770 hours of nursery rhymes, fairy tales, and stories.

*A kindergarten student who has not been read aloud to could enter school with less than 60 hours of literacy nutrition. No teacher, no matter how talented, can make up for those lost hours of mental nourishment.

*Therefore...30 minutes daily = 900 hours
30 minutes weekly = 130 hours
Less than 30 minutes weekly = 60 hours

I’d like to think that I will start before birth, as I am buying books for later in my baby’s life I would read to them.  I also read a lot myself, and hubby and I sometimes read together, so baby would get used to the sound of oral reading.

After baby is born I would love to read at all kinds of times. I can imagine reading the cards or messages that people have sent for the birth – “This one is from aunty Moo and says...” I love the idea of reading to baby after feeding, and getting into the habit of reading before bed at night right away. As the baby is a little older and able to focus more closely and hold things more easily, I’d love to have a whole range of cloth ‘feely’ books (I have made a few of these myself!) Books about animals, about colours, about numbers. Read through them, play with them, just have them around.

I also think is important to read stories to a child, even when they may not understand all the words or concepts being mentioned. Settling down for some quiet time with a book is a good habit to form early and the rhythm and tone of your voice along with the pictures in the book will keep interest for a start.

I have no doubt that my baby will be surrounded by books. They WILL see books as presents, as things to be treasured and valued and to be shared. I still have many of the books I received as a child and there are many favourites which I now share with my students, I look forward to sharing them with my own child.

I have two very clear images when I think of life with baby: one of me sitting in a chair with baby on my lap reading a book, I think it is a book of traditional stories or an old favourite of mine. The other is of my husband, lying on the bed next to the child, snuggled up close, reading a bed time story. It’s a funny book, about soccer or something that they both love and the child is in awe of the page, staring at what daddy is reading, while daddy is in awe of the child and this wonderful person that we have made together.