Monday 8 December 2014
Craftiness!
One of the things keeping me sane during this troubled time is my craft, I have posted about it before. I have my very first market coming up this weekend, so thought I would take the chance to share some of the creations I'll be hoping to sell =)
Another whole month...
As you may have guessed from the lack of posts, last month went by without a bang - in any sense of the word.
My fertile window came and went and until recently it had been over 2 months since hubby and I have even dtd, let alone think about timing it for TTC. I just got to the stage where I was tired of always being the one to initiate, always being turned down.
When AF finally came it was a weird feeling. I knew I wasn't going to see a BFP, there was no need to test, so I wasn't sad. But I was angry. SO VERY angry that we hadn't even tried. What if that was our month and we missed it? I'm still a little peeved thinking about it now and I'm not sure what I'll do if it ever happens again.
In the meantime, another window of opportunity has opened. We had a good long talk when AF passed and hubby told me that he wants to 'give' me a baby for Christmas. I asked him if that meant he was committed to try whenever I asked and he said yes. I had my doubts. On Monday I gave him a warning - you have until Friday to get 'ready' then it's every second day for the next week (O comes between CD14 and 18 depending on... whatever it depends on!). He agreed.
Friday night came and after two months you would think it'd be fun, exciting... something! It was just awkward. But Friday was planned as our free-shot, our warm up before the serious business starts. I knew it would be strange after all that time.
Last night was supposed to be the first real go for the month. I was feeling pretty good knowing that I had been promised whatever it takes - I feel like such a fool some times for believing anything he says when it comes to dtd. I got turned down, but with a promise of 'tomorrow night' - I clarified he he knew that would mean two days in a row, as I wasn't prepared to miss Tuesday (CD14) and I've been assured that we're in for 3 days in a row. As much as it sucks to say, I'm not counting on it. But you never know!
I don't know if I can bear the thought of a Christmas morning BFN, or worse yet the appearance of AF...
My fertile window came and went and until recently it had been over 2 months since hubby and I have even dtd, let alone think about timing it for TTC. I just got to the stage where I was tired of always being the one to initiate, always being turned down.
When AF finally came it was a weird feeling. I knew I wasn't going to see a BFP, there was no need to test, so I wasn't sad. But I was angry. SO VERY angry that we hadn't even tried. What if that was our month and we missed it? I'm still a little peeved thinking about it now and I'm not sure what I'll do if it ever happens again.
In the meantime, another window of opportunity has opened. We had a good long talk when AF passed and hubby told me that he wants to 'give' me a baby for Christmas. I asked him if that meant he was committed to try whenever I asked and he said yes. I had my doubts. On Monday I gave him a warning - you have until Friday to get 'ready' then it's every second day for the next week (O comes between CD14 and 18 depending on... whatever it depends on!). He agreed.
Friday night came and after two months you would think it'd be fun, exciting... something! It was just awkward. But Friday was planned as our free-shot, our warm up before the serious business starts. I knew it would be strange after all that time.
Last night was supposed to be the first real go for the month. I was feeling pretty good knowing that I had been promised whatever it takes - I feel like such a fool some times for believing anything he says when it comes to dtd. I got turned down, but with a promise of 'tomorrow night' - I clarified he he knew that would mean two days in a row, as I wasn't prepared to miss Tuesday (CD14) and I've been assured that we're in for 3 days in a row. As much as it sucks to say, I'm not counting on it. But you never know!
I don't know if I can bear the thought of a Christmas morning BFN, or worse yet the appearance of AF...
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