Sunday 25 December 2016

Christmas Memories


Wednesday 21 December 2016

Nusery - Part Three



This is it, the last piece of the nursery we were waiting for. This gorgeous chair is something that I've had my eye on for years and always said I would have for feeding baby.

The fabric is a lovely grey which matches the monochrome of the nursery, but also matches the new sofa we got the same day, so if one day our girl wants to move her chair out to the lounge it will match with the sofa :)

I've spent a lot of time just sitting in that chair and looking around the room, talking to my bump about how much I am looking forward to nursing her in that chair, and being able to sit there and watch her sleeping and see her growing. It's been very calming.

Sunday 18 December 2016

35 weeks


It's still so hard to believe that we only have at most three weeks to go until we meet our little girl. I can so clearly remember a time when I didn't even think we would make it to 8 weeks let alone 38.

I had a vivid reminder of that sheer panic earlier in the week. I wrote previously about how my cousin's announcement that she was expecting her first had sent me into a spiral and that I was sure this meant she would get to keep her baby and we would not. Finding out that her little one arrived this past week brought all those feelings back. I just couldn't shake the feeling that this was it, her baby was here and those wiggles and pokes I was feeling as I read the news would be the last. Hubby said all the right things (he's getting very good at this!) but I still didn't manage to shake the feeling for a couple of days. It still pops up every now and then, but it's not even been a week since I found out, so I guess that's to be expected. We had actually talked about asking not to be notified, but I just never got around to mentioning it to anyone.

Things are going well for us. I stopped progesterone completely last week and I stop aspirin this week. GD seems well under control, I've only had one high in the last week when I had lunch out and even the wholegrain bread was obviously enough to send me over. Our 36 week growth scan was good and I'll take the report to the hospital tomorrow for my group of appointments. I see the psychologist, the midwife, the OB and have CTG for baby. Last time I was there for almost 6 hours.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a little smoother as I have to go back the next day for an endocrinologist appointment.

Bags are packed, car seat is installed, nursery is complete... now we just need our baby to come home with us.

Wednesday 14 December 2016

Baby Shower







My mum and my sister hosted a lovely baby shower for me at 31 weeks. I'd mentioned to my sister that I'd started working on a Pinterest board for a Totoro themed baby shower for our very first baby that I never got to hold and it went from there. It was held in their hometown where most of our relatives live, however by the time mum and finished inviting everyone the list was HUGE. Lucky it was girls only or I would have had to seriously reconsider and have a teeny tiny gathering in my own home!

It was strange and awkward seeing some of mum's friends who I hadn't seen for more than 20 years. There were even people there who didn't know hubby's name and we've been together more than 8 years.

But mostly it was wonderful. Some of the people who mean the most to me in the entire world were there and the day wouldn't have been the same without them. I was very nervous about traveling and it caused a lot of anxiety in the lead up - I probably wouldn't have gone ahead with it if it was just for me, but I totally believe our little girl deserves to be celebrated and I'm glad that in the end I was brave enough to go ahead with it.

The fabulous cake came from Rhianna's Cakes by Design

Saturday 10 December 2016

33 weeks!

Our sweet little pineapple :)

These days are just getting away from me so quickly! With at least three appointments a week (sometimes just three in one day) I find it hard to do more than one 'big' thing in a day. Basically anything that I have to drive to, walk to or think too much about. Terrible I know, but that's the way it seems to be.

I've also been incredibly lucky to have hubby off work for a couple of weeks and as well as painting the entire house, we spent a lot of time bonding with baby and each other - so no electronic distractions. It was lovely and extra special as it was the first time off he's had on nearly two years.

Baby is doing very well and I have dropped my progesterone to only 400mg each night. It's still being monitored every two weeks, but I hope, after yesterday's test to be able to stop altogether. My blood pressure is low, m,y GD is under control and baby is doing fine. At the moment there's not much more I can ask.

I am still having terrible anxiety attacks, but they're becoming more spaced apart. The only problem is that when they do happen, they seem to be much bigger, rather than lots of little fleeting ones, some last for a very long time.

One night during his break, hubby and I were sitting watching something terrible on netflix, and old favourite he hadn't seen for years> It was lovely, relaxing and he was snuggled up close playing with baby, pressing back where she moved and whispering to her. Completely out of the blue I had a totally overwhelming feeling that this would be the last time we ever felt her move. There was no reason to think that way, but I was absolutely convinced that it was the truth. Cue a major panic attack that not only completely ruined what was a lovely family moment, but also sent hubby into a panic as he thought something was wrong and I wasn't telling him. 

We eventually settled back down, but I really didn't completely shake the feeling until I woke during the night for one of my many toilet stops and felt her move again.

I also really struggle with wanting her out right now. I know she is fine in there, especially when I'm feeling her moving so actively and it scares me that anything could happen between now and when she's born. I feel like if she was out now, although she would need special care, at least we would be able to see what was going on and do something to help her. As it is, anything can happen and we'd have no idea until it was too late.

Keep wiggling, baby girl. Not long to go now!

Tuesday 6 December 2016

Nursery - Part Two



Still in the process of moving things about, with a lovely new chair to be delivered soon. I only wish we had done something about the floors earlier, but now it'll probably be next year before we get to that.

I made all her artwork myself, including the large frame which I have blocked out as it shows her name ;)

I still find this incredibly difficult. I had a complete meltdown on Monday when I did her first washing. Surrounded by all these things and no way of knowing if she'll ever get to use them. I had to walk out and close the door. But thankfully, on days like today, I just want to sit in there and talk to my little bump :)