NOT my 1st Mother's Day

But it sure feels different.

In the past, hubby and I have not exchanged gifts for Mother's or Father's Day but have acknowledged each other and spent some time talking about our angels.

This year, our beautiful rainbow baby girl is here and hubby has picked out a gift and card from both of them. I am looking forward to spending Mother's Day with my little family.

What I'm dreading are the comments regarding my "First Mother's Day" and how to handle them. I want to try to keep it simple, something like, "Thank you, but this isn't my first." People might be upset or feel awkward, but as a lovely mother on the PALS Parenting after loss forum wrote, acknowledging our angels is more important than their mometary awkwardness.

Happy Mother's Day to all the lovely mothers out there x

Four month update!

I cannot believe my baby is 4 months old! Time truly is flying by.

The first month -
A haze of sleep deprivation, latch issues, formula top ups and pumping is the best way to describe the first few weeks. I was almost ready to give up on pumping as it was using up the little time I had between naps, but then suddenly after multiple lactation consultant visits, something clicked and baby and I both got the hang of it.
Time not spent feeding or pumping was equals parts sheer amazement that our little girl was home with us, and severe anxiety that we wouldn't be able to keep her.

The second month -
Baby reacted badly to her 6 week vax and spent the night in hospital with vomiting and diarrhoea. I spent the night with her terrified that something else would go wrong. She was fine in a few days.
Her little personality really started to show and we would see little smiles and watch her fascination with the world around her.
Baby and I also took our first big trip away without dad. I was so anxious, but also really proud of how well we all managed it. Not that I'm in any hurry to do it again!

The third month -
Hubby had been back at work a couple of weeks and it was so lovely to see our little one's face light up when she saw him each night.
We celebrated our first Easter and, although we had a moment of grief for our angels, it was a lovely family event. It was super hard to see how spoiled she was by her grandparents and thinking of how her older siblings are very much ignored. She was given chocolate which we ate, and Easter books which she loved and we'll pull out each year.

The fourth month -
She's growing so quickly! She's laughing and learning almost by the minute it seems. She babbles away, and her little giggles are the most delightful thing.
We go out as much as we can and it seems she's finally getting used to the car seat. Other times we just walk in the stroller or the carrier. 
She's started sitting in her high chair as she loves being up high. Tummy time is fun when I can come up with ways to keep her distracted!

I never really believed that we would get to keep this little one. Every day with her really is a blessing and it's so thrilling watching her grow x