Another Month on the TTC Rollercoaster

It's hard to believe that a month has past since the last time I updated this page. But at the same time, it almost feels like forever.

We had another unsuccessful cycle, although it's pretty easy to see why when I look back. Although we managed to do the deed, so to speak, four times during my fertile window only two of those were PIV. It was pretty disheartening to look back and notice that and it lead to a big conversation with hubby about how there are plenty of other times in the month that we can explore other approaches to intimacy but during that specific time we need to make sure we do it 'right.' It's a pretty touchy subject, because I am just happy that we are having more sex! I don't want to say or do anything to put the pressure on, but at the same time, knowing that sex can be hard to come by, I want to make sure it counts. Hubby did mention that he finds the 'we have to do this now' aspect a bit hard to deal with and that it can take away some of his enthusiasm - something I have to be mindful of as it's hard enough to get him in the mood at the best of times.

The arrival of AF was a bit of a shocker. I was already feeling really down about the fact that I was about to turn 36 and still no closer to having a baby in my arms. I'd always thought that 35 would be the time I stopped having kids, not the time when I would still be struggling to start! Not only that, but of all days to find out I was not pregnant... it was Mother's Day.

All in all, a pretty rough month. hubby and I went away for a few days at the beginning of this cycle, just to take some time to connect without having to worry about work and knowing that we could dtd just for the fun of it! It really helped and put him in a much less stressful frame of mind and helped me to cheer up a bit. We also spent a bit of time talking practically about fertile windows, cycle length and all manner of things TTC that he was feeling curious about.

So this cycle's fertile window has just opened. We started with a bang (!) and the plan is to try every 2nd day this cycle and hope that we can catch that elusive egg. Of course life always intervenes, hubby just found out he's been rostered on to work 6 days this week and I have a hectic week at work with reports due next Monday - but we have a plan and will be trying to stick to it! One of the lovely ladies on the EB forum wrote about waiting for the right cycle and knowing that it was that particular egg and that exact sperm that had to meet to create the baby you would one day fall in love with - I guess I'm just impatient to meet that beautiful child!