My last post, regarding
buying for a baby you have yet to conceive, was by far my most viewed so far.
The thread I started on Essential Baby asking if others had done the same received more replies than any other thread I have started - and not all of them positive.
Of course, posting for feedback on a public forum is not about having people agree with you; I was genuinely interested to find out if others buy for baby when trying to conceive, and if not, why not.
The thing I was amazed to find was just how many women, who would normally claim to be sane and rational (I guess!), were writing about not wanting to jinx their yet-to-be child, or covering or hiding items that they had bought.
While there are obviously some things you could surround yourself with that would jeopardise your chances of conceiving, I'm thinking chemical cleaners, chain smokers and the like, I find it hard to believe that buying that adorable onesie you see, buying a beloved children's book and so on could possibly have any impact on whether you do, or do not, end up with a baby in your arms.
I suppose part of the reason is that there is still something so awe inspiring about the act of creating new life. Even though we now scientifically understand how the process occurs, there are still so many unknowns, so many outcomes that science and medicine cannot predict or alter, that there is still an air of mystery surrounding conception and pregnancy.
I know there are far more practical reasons people choose to abstain from buying, mostly based on previous painful experiences or miscarriage, stillbirth or years of inability to conceive and these I feel are entirely justified. I am sure that if hubby and I are still TTC in another 2 or 3 years, let alone the 10 or more some EB posters wrote about, that I will feel much differently towards the little box of baby treasures than I do now.
But the sense I got from most comments was the fear that buying too many baby things before there is a baby to buy for is inviting trouble, that it almost guarantees failure. Even posters who had been given items from family members seemed to feel almost guilty about having them, pointing out that the items were in a spare room, still in their boxes or hidden out in a shed somewhere.
I have to say, if I had been any younger, some of these responses would have terrified me. I was almost made to feel that I was arrogant for presuming that I would ever have a 'take home baby' as though this is a blessing bestowed on a rare few, rather than the most natural thing a woman can hope for. I was given the impression that by buying these things I was likely to have years of TTC failure ahead of me, but that if maybe I hadn't bought them, things would be different. As it is, I am old enough to know better.
I was really intrigued by the insight into the way other women think and feel when trying to conceive and am thankful for people sharing. I will continue to ask questions and learn from the experience of those who have gone down the road to motherhood before me, and to share the TTC journey with those who are also following that path.
I am sure that I will be buying more, you'll probably see the evidence posted here, and I prefer to view this from the complete opposite perspective. One of the best ways to boost my chances of having that baby in my arms to to remain positive, as stress free as I can, and buying these things - for now at least - makes me feel wonderfully warm inside and full of amazement at the journey hubby and I are embarking on =]
