20 weeks!

We were so excited to finally get to see our baby girl again on Monday at 20w5d. Four weeks has been the longest time between scans but thankfully our doppler and her tiny kicks have been enough to assure us that she is doing ok.

I was doing really well with anxiety until we actually got in the car to drive to the scan. After all, I told hubby, this is often when couples find out that there is something developmentally wrong with their baby. Her heart and her brain were my two biggest worries, we already knew she had the right number of arms and legs!

We were lucky enough to go right in and I knew it would be a long scan right away as our little miss was wriggling like a mad thing. While this was a thrill for us to see, it made it super hard to get any measurements of the important parts. Between prodding with the ultrasound and having me change positions, then going out for a walk and 90 minutes later we had confirmation of everything except one measurement for her heart. The good news is, that means another scan in two weeks.

The only down side is this will be the first scan I have had this pregnancy that I have to go on my own. I know it's not logical, but I am terrified that this will mean something is wrong and I'll be on my own to try and cope with it. Trying not to think about it too much at this point, still two weeks away!

Hubby is still frustrated that he can't feel her moving yet, my placenta is making sure of that. There is such a narrow area of  'opportunity' but I have felt her much more strongly over the last couple of days, so I am hoping it isn't too much longer.

He's also started talking about preparing for her arrival. He told me that once we make it to 28 weeks he wants to start work on the nursery. A little scary for me, but he acknowledged that too. He's also decided that he doesn't want to decide her name until much closer. I'm definitely not sure about that! I said that I would prefer as soon as possible so I can start calling her by name. We then got distracted by thinking of names and didn't really come to a conclusion on that one!

I also, bravely, bought a little body suit. I managed it by telling myself that it wasn't for baby but for hubby, I wanted him to see how tiny she would be when she arrives. It worked a treat and he was amazed, holding it up over my bump.

I honestly have to say that since I have been able to feel her move more often, a lot of my anxiety has lessened. I am sure it will never go completely, but I am able to focus much more on the fact that she is here now, making her presence felt, than worrying about what might happen next.