17 Weeks

Or the size of a playstation controller according to Ovia!

The past week has been a tricky one. My progesterone levels have dropped, a LOT, from 50 to 40. I can't even explain the anxiety this has caused. My specialist says she's not worried yet, and to see what happens this week. Could just be a fluke.

The main thing to worry about here is early labour, so every little twinge or pain is sending me into a panic. I am doing my best to stay calm and our doppler is certainly helping in that regard. Our baby girl's little heart is beating away at a steady 160ish bpm every night when we check before bed.

I had also had a couple of high bgl readings during my first week of testing. I knew that it was due to what I had eaten, really testing myself out to see what I could and couldn't eat (read, too many hot chips, too much rice and pasta!) but I didn't know what the outcome of that would be at my one week check up. Thankfully, they were happy with my reasoning and so I only have to go back in two weeks for a check up with the endocrinologist, rather than an urgent on the day appointment.

So besides waiting for my progesterone test this week, I'm waiting for another test result. One possible cause of the low or dropping progesterone is the MTHFR mutation, which I have never been tested for. Some of the symptoms fit (wheat allergy) but others don't (dairy intolerance). I don't really know what it will mean if the test comes back positive and in this case I have chosen not to google - I'll just wait for the result which can take up to a week.

The main thing scaring me is the progesterone. They've already said the think that is the reason for our previous losses, so the background thoughts of losing our little girl have come right to the front. I've had dreams for the past two nights of waking up bleeding - this usually happens the day before AF arrives so it is genuinely worrying to me to have such dreams now.

This little one is already such a part of us, perhaps even more so than her siblings before her, it is all I can do to keep thoughts of losing her at bay. I just keep reminding myself that she's here now, and doing fine. And at the moment, that's all I can ask for.