It is now six months since the last time I was pregnant. That means back to the doctor to find out what's next. I don't even know what to think. My sister asked me today if we had given up trying... is that where we are up to?
Whenever I mention this, I'm told that we have plenty of time yet and the conversation moves on (or ends), so I haven't really had a chance to think or talk it through. Maybe we do just stop. There is so much else going on with house hunting and our home business taking off so maybe it is one less thing to worry about.
I just feel like time is passing and the impact it is having on the rest of our lives and on our mental and physical health is growing.
I suppose the truth of it is Christmas is coming and we should have been celebrating our first Christmas as a little family - if any of our first 3 babies had made it home with us. I'm probably doing that thing of trying to protect myself from more hurt by thinking that if we are not trying then we can't be disappointed.
I will go back to the doctor, but I might give it a couple of weeks, I'm not up to it just yet.
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